Im at work with NO internet. at what point do i start to panic.
glenn beck fans make my soul cry and my mind grapes explode.
Halloween. Before.
Halloween. After.
Trip to NYC. Perfect time for Mallane to check her facebook.
A screen play I wrote in 1999 about a band’s rise and fall. what?
stories from my youth 3.0
I recently found a stash of papers and stories that I wrote in high school. I thought I’d share.
Vampire Squirrels
When Dracula was a young boy, he happened to run into a family of squirrels. Not liking his home life, Dracula decided to go off and live with the friendly, puffy-tailed animals. For a year he was a squirrel. He ate nuts and even lived in a large nest in a tree. But one day he realized that his new family members never talked to him or loved him. They were just squirrels. Having a short temper, Dracula lashed out at his “father” and bit him on the neck. Well, the squirrel bit back. Dracula ran back to his home crying. The father squirrel, having been infected, went crazy and infected every squirrel he could find. By the time Dracula was killed, the entire population of squirrels were vampires. Unbeknownst to the human species, squirrels were slowly taking over the world. When they ran out of fellow squirrels to infect, they turned to the dogs, then the cats, then the birds, and so on. The squirrels kept their position as the top vampire creatures. They didn’t stop until every animal was a vampire. Then they turned to the humans. They were the last stepping stone until world domination. Now it’s come to this. I have brought you up to date on the vampire situation. It is human kind against the animal kingdom. Which one will survive? The animals flaunt their power in our faces. The White House is now a huge blood bank just for animals. They will soon run the planet. That is, unless I do something. I have been devising a plan to kill all of the animals in the world. I want to build a huge car and run them all over. I can’t wait to see their huge eyes starring at my headlights as their trembling bodies stand terrified in the middle of the road. Some animal rights activists (yes they are still around) say that my plan is too bloody. Which is kind of ironic because blood is what got us into this mess. I don’t care if anybody supports me. I must save the world! Humans must survive! My children need a world where they can walk down the street without the fear of a mad squirrel jumping on their back. I’m going to do it. I’m going to build my killing car now. Okay, it’s made. Now lets go kill some vampires! I’m bringing along with me my paper and pen, a soda, and a pooper scooper in case one of the animals has an accident. My car is so big I can’t drive on the road. I guess i’ll take out the forests too. Oops! I just hit a man. It’s hard to drive and write at the same time. But i’ll do it anyway! My story must be known! I see a pack of rabid rabbits up ahead. Here goes nothing…Good! I killed them all. Their blood is all over the ground. Oh, this is something i didn’t’ expect. The freshly spilled blood is drawing all of the vampire animals to this spot. They’re surrounding the car. I’m going to make a break for it! NO! My car won’t start! I knew I shouldn’t have turned it off to admire the squashed rabbits. What is that? I hear some kind of scratching noise. I think they’re coming up through the muffler. Now I need the pooper scooper! I can see their beady eyes looking at me through the vents. I know i’m about to die…and yet I continue to write. Am I stupid or something? They are all over the car now. The cardboard walls won’t keep them out for long. I should have invested more money into my monster car. What is that? I think in some animal language they’re counting to three. Ow! They counted to three and attacked me! Oh the pain, the pain of it all! I can feel the blood leaving my body. I will be dead soon. Please somebody find this paper and continue my work. Human kind depends on it. We must survive. Fight the Future. I’m dead now.
